It is coming to the end of summer, for us northern peoplesssss.. Others have already started school, southern peeeeepsss o.o! But, I decided to do this, to say, I will miss you all, because, i know, some of us go away from the internet world when school comes around.. I will still be here, but not everyday, because I will start doing hw and stupid stuffs.
I am starting 6th grade, yes, I know, it won't be the worst school year of my life, but I will get more hw than I did last year, obviously. I will start having more essays to do, and less internet life. So, pretty much, I will almost only have a school life </3 ( I have absolutely no social life )
I want to start my life over, but I will still have almost the same internet life. The difference will be I won't be as active, it's time to try to find friends in my terrible hometown </3 ( wanna know how terrible?, someone died a few days ago from a shooting, yes, bad. )
I will start 6th grade being completely me, and idc if people hate me about it, this is my life.. As long as I don't start dressing like Miley Cyrus, I think I will have fine life.. ( she is not a good influence to any human being, dun let your children ever see her, EVER! )
I will be starting 6th grade with few friends, which will be some-what hard, but it'll be fine, I spent my summer being almost cut off from every kid in my grade/school.
I want to be like this, because, if I try to be what other people want me to be, I will be miserable with myself, and my self-esteem will plummet, to nothing. I want to be whatever I feel like.
My long sleeve shirts and jeans in the summer, my paleness all year round.. ( I go outside about once a week during summer, lol 3: ) Obviously, I do want to be better to myself and get a bit more active, not have my limited choice of: books, anime, internet, fooooddd.. .-.
I technically am healthy, but I am not as healthy as I wish to be :/ So, yay!, life goals .-. blehhhh
But, now more about school.
I am an 11yr old, soon to be 6th grader. I have many problems with my school, yet I am never heard out. I am part of NEHS ( national ELEMENTARY honor society ) and still I have no say in anything. In the end of 6th grade I will be going into NJHS ( junior ) until I go into highschool. For NEHS, I will have to write an essay about how NEHS has helped me grow, as a person, even though I feel no change, academically, socially, or just, as a person.
To most kids at school, I am scarier, but an easy target. The reason they think I am scary is because I easily beat the 13yr boy in my grade in arm wrestling ( lol ), because my structure is sturdier, and because I have little to no friends. The reason I am an easy target, is because nobody sticks up for me, and if I stick up for myself, I am the one who gets punished by teachers.. ( learned that the hard way, got ISS for a week by kicking a kid after he punched me, I haven't told anyone he punched me till now.. we eventually became friends, and now he is the only person I consider keeping as a friend..
I have always been smarter, without much trouble.. I get straight A's even though my guys friend^ that I mentioned usually gets C's :/ I won't let him fail, if I have to I'll help him study, because I don't want him to end up in an even lower grade, since he already failed twice. And, also, because we will end up farther apart from that, since the only other way we can normally chat is by fb or school :/ and when one of us are on fb the other isnt.
School is another reason I got depressed, acting like I am not me, and acting like I am completely different.. It pushed all my true emotions in and they all bursted at once.. It made me isolate myself from society any time I could :/ I did want to skip school, and I did twice by acting sick, even though I really was sick.. I held in my emotions while being depressed and life felt useless after that... But, I'd rather not get into that, that's my life story not my school story.
I used to like school, when I was younger and all we did was play with toys with children we didnt know! o.o (Yeah... weird thinking about playing house with a baby dolls when the mom and dad were both little girls.. Ik why I became bi now o.o XDDDDDD ) i once remember playing with an actual turkey feather and all the kids were fighting over it, but my teacher took it from them and gave it to me.. WOOOOOO TURKEY FEATHERRR
School, for me, obviously has a good meaning, teaching children for when they become old enough to need this stupid shit we call "knowledge" o.o :3 But, having bad schools isn't good, having children who are always ignored, and hiring the most angry teachers ever. It makes school a bad memory, I know, most children hate it no matter what, but 3/4 of the classes really want schools to be better for them, make it enjoyable to learn, instead of just shoving hard work in front of children and teens and expecting all of them to know everything about it.
I do want to get out of my house and work my brain for once, but school isn't the way I like learning. And why will I need to know algebra and history to become an animator/musician/writer, like I have to know any of this? I know, I would need to take writing classes for writing and I would benefit from learning better wording for being a musician.. But, to me, drawing just feels like when I try I can make it, seeing the world in different ways helps me draw, so why do I need to take all these extra subjects? I could write, draw, and play music all my life, I wouldn't need to do all the required subjects in my school to become what i want.. But, I know how some people do want to be business workers, and lawyers, and all of the things you do need to learn for, so it's kind of like I am tagging along in things that usually won't be needed, and if they are, well, I guess school might help, whether is sucks terribly, or sucks terribly.
So, I guess this is just me rambling on about stupid things and how it's time to get my mind on course, even if i dont have any means to :/
See you guys,
Annisa aka Hitty x3